To hell in a handbasket

These are the CNN.com headlines as of 3-4 minutes ago. Just read them through, without worry about the stories behind them. It sounds like something from a Philip K. Dick post-apocalypse short story:

Latest News

• High court strikes down gun ban
• Obama: McCain's energy plan empty 'gimmicks'
• Lawmakers vow to execute child rapists
• 3 workers burned after pipeline cut
• California wildfires threaten hundreds of homes
• Briton gets life sentences for killing wife, baby
• N. Korea declares nukes; Bush responds 52 min
• Ticker: Polls show Obama leading in key states
• Russert's son: Sometimes he'd interview me 49 min
• Bomb on belt kills sheikhs in Karma 29 min
• China slams Dalai Lama; Olympic brass rebukes
• City aims to test all Bronx adults for HIV
• Zakaria: S.A. president should be ashamed
• Recycling plant blaze rages
• Questions to ask before being a guinea pig
• Gas scammers refill rentals with water
• Couples fight over who's the 'trailing spouse'
• MTV, BET too XXX for some firms' ads
• Glenn Beck: Obama no, McCain maybe
• Women spin atop escalator handrails
• Heather Locklear enters mental hospital